Stones With Fair Colors; navigating the world of chronic illness

Grief and loss

What do you think of when you hear the word Grief?

Do you think of the tragic loss of a loved one?  Do you think of days that drag your broken heart along without an end in sight?  Do you think that life will never be the same?

Perhaps, these are accurate depictions of grief, but how do you explain those same nagging feelings when those you love are numbered and accounted for in this life?

Grief is all the little things of loss.   Grief is the participation trophy we get for playing at the game of life.   Grief is the unmistakably, beautiful sign that we know how to love. 

Chronic illness brings with it so much change and loss.  We approach life with a set order of things and expectations and when we come up short, we grieve.  It can be any expression of sorrow from sadness to agony and torment. 

In 2017, Amy Green stood on a TED stage, to celebrate a video game she helped to design because her son had contracted a rare brain tumor.  She invented the game to teach the concept of grief and help her own family navigate this world we all wish to avoid.   With some paraphrasing, I love what she said about the game, That Dragon, Cancer and grief...

'We all want to win.  Like a video game, you fight to change the outcome.  what do you do when nothing you do will change the outcome?  Do you keep playing?  What's the point to a game you can't win?'   Amy  Green

Grief is a constant companion in the world of chronic illness.  We live with so many unknowns and it's work alone, to keep all the sorrow and sadness from sinking our tiny ship.   Every decision we make is vitally important; life and death importance.  We feel everything deeply and desperately.  We want to come out of this alive and well, but the truth is, when you know you can't beat it, what do you value instead?